Phillip was the leader of a local San Diego gang. And he was a killer. He had the number “187” tattooed on his neck, which is the penal code section for murder in California. On the outside, he was feared by all, even by his own gang members. He knew he was a target, and learned how to sleep with one eye open while holding a loaded gun.
Phillip was talked into attending a 4 day, 7 hours a day “Kairos” event inside R.J. Donovan State Prison, California. The Kairos “outside team” is comprised of non-denominational Clergy, Pastors to Prison Yard Pastors, and lay Christians (about 45 in all). Phillip had never been inside a prison chapel but heard that during Kairos weekends there would be home cooked food and lots of home baked cookies, so he signed up along with 35 other prisoners. During the event, Phillip didn’t pay much attention to the talks or Homilies, didn’t participate in the table discussions, , didn’t sing when all others were, and didn’t hang with anyone during the breaks. He was a loner.
Although Phillip never said a word, something was happening to him.
On the evening before the last day of the Kairos event, the prisoners were allowed to voluntarily get up in front of everybody, take a hold of the microphone, to answer these 3 questions:
1) What was your condition when you arrived at Kairos?
2) What did you find at Kairos?
3) What will you be taking away?
After most of the guys had got up and answered the questions, to everybody’s surprise Phillip stood up, walked up to the front, grabbed the microphone and told us this story, with tears in his eyes.
He was beaten by his father almost every day of his young life as long as he could remember, before he ran away. He never cried, even when he was 4 years old he was defiant, not giving his father the satisfaction of seeing tears.
One day when he was 7, Phillip found a stray puppy, alone and hungry. Phillip brought him home. He said it was the first time he loved anything, and the first time ever felt he was loved. One day his father found him doing something he didn’t like, and this time instead of beating him, he strangled his puppy while Phillip watched. Phillip said that was the last time he ever cried, until now.
“What was my condition when I arrived? I was sad, alone, empty, wondering why I was even alive. I should just kill myself”
“What did I find here? I found God, I found Jesus. I’m not sure what it all means, or where I’ll go with it, but it’s a real good feeling and I know I want more of it
“What am I taking away? I think I’m taking away a whole new life, maybe even a happy one, maybe even have friends. I’m going to read the Bible and learn more. I don’t believe that I can be forgiven for all the bad stuff I’ve done, but if it’s true that Jesus forgives, maybe I will believe it.
Phillip then sat down while everyone was standing, cheering and clapping.